Falmouth Wheelers
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Boxing day ride
Dec 26, 2014, 10:30 pm

"Its easing up" was the moto for the fantastic five riders today. We were either superhero's or slightly bonkers! Fred, Bernie, Amanda, Liz and Robin left HQ and headed out through Mawnan (the muddy way) up and down a few hills through a few rivers before taking the short route that headed straight to mince pies. "I hope they're warm" said Robin, who'd been out early for a few more miles to ensure he had room for the pies or was it the beer? Liz was well prepared, she bought her Marigold's with her but as it happened the hospitality was excellent and we didn't need to wash up. Sorry about the pool of water we left Carol, it must have been the Elves breakdancing that over excited us!
Thanks very much to Carol and Fred. Can you arrange a sunny day next year please - or a sauna would have been good.     Amanda

                                                 Not Staying In
I needed to get out – all this eating and drinking and watching TV is no good! (Did anyone watch Dr Who on Xmas day? I didn't get it; it was all a bit surreal. Dream Crabs?? Pah)!
I left early and had plenty of time to get cold and wet so was totally demoralised when 10 o'clock came around and I arrived at HQ. I was surprised to see anyone else, least alone Amanda and Liz. Also present were hardier Bernie and Fred – well, Fred had no choice I suppose.
I really don't mind a steady pace, it's part of the fun of riding as a group but it wasn't helping me keep warm and the hills just weren't long/steep enough ( ha ha ). Fred kindly took us by the quickest route (well, almost) and it wasn't long before we dripped into Carols' kitchen and were served delicious freshly baked confectionery and freshly made warming coffees.
Fred had thoughtfully fired up his sauna and, whilst it was only a 1 man version, 5 of us managed to squeeze in and enjoy a reviving club huddle. Soon we were fully warmed and we left Fred to arrange our clothes to dry as we returned to the kitchen and allow the stream of coffees to flow once more. More sausage rolls and mince pies – the finest mince pies I have ever eaten – and we were getting very settled. Eventually we prized our sweaty bums from the seats (sorry about those damp patches Fred and Carol) and put on our now toasty dry clothes for the ride home. Both Amanda and Liz agreed that it was too early to go straight home so we put in another twenty mile loop with some nice climbs.

I had a little nap when I got back and dreamt of Dr Who and the Dream Crabs – all a bit odd. There may be other accounts of the days ride but I felt I had to get my version in before I forgot everything. A big thank you to Fred and Carol. Nice sauna.      Robin


Roastie Ride Sunday 21st
Dec 24, 2014, 6:34 pm

The usual and unusual met at H.Q. Destination? The Star Inn at Porkellis. We were 12 riders I believe but maths is always complicated. Robin took the lead, a route in mind no doubt, so Mawnan Smith passed by High Cross Constantine, Bridge, Gweek, and Pemboa arriving at Sainsbury’s where a welcome cup of coffee and a chance to catch our breath. We entered the shop always feeling a bit self-conscious dressed in Lycra to be met by a gentlemen dressed as an Elf so no problem there then.

As we left, Helston school band were doing an excellent job playing Carols; then outside we met the 10.00 o’clock (9.30 gang). 13 riders I believe. We headed off towards Porthleven; well we wouldn't want to be too early at the Pub would we! We turned off at the top of the hill and went through Ashton and then who knows but: Nancegollan ,Releath flashed by and then there at the top of the hill was a star …………… yes the Star Inn drew us in. 

We had arrived only just before the other group, timing as perfect as planned. The Staff made us very welcome and fed us superbly: a merry time was had by all. Simon read out the parish notices and wished us all a Happy Christmas. A great ride and nice to see old friends turn up at the Star.      Fred

It was the day before Christmas
Dec 24, 2014, 3:37 pm

And it came to pass that a certain wise man travelled from the east, guided by a gps satellite. “Beep, bee-beep, beeeep”, sang Mr Garmin as he led the way. For it was the day before Christmas and OGILs from far and wide, were gathering at Reunion Corner. Our Chairman had sent out a decree, to Wheelers Old and not quite so old, to join the celebration ride; as it had been in the beginning, was now and would forever be.

Amanda had put the sprouts on a low heat and was joined by virgin OGILer, Jerry. Bernie and Ian made up rest of the small, but dedicated, group. As usual the first stop was at the pull in near the place they call Halvasso, where many had gathered, so many that there was no room to get in. Fred, Richard 2, Raymond, Helston Trevor, our Chairman and the one they call the Chris, who speaks in foreign tongues. “Car up” he said.

Where better to head for than Miss Molly’s, so with a quick text to Trevarno Dave we turned towards Gweek, the plan being to circle around and approach from behind. There would be plenty of hills, for the benefit of the three single speed bikes.

At the Releath crossroads I stopped to have a conversation with a dog, who seemed to have something he needed to say, but when we had finished I looked up and the others had gone. “Don’t bleeping well look at me”, said Mr Garmin. “I only know where you have gone, I can’t keep track of all those as well”. The logical route would be up to Black Rock, but there were no tell tale tyre tracks in that direction. They could have headed back towards the Helston Road, but the oncoming land rover I flagged down said that she had not seen any cyclists that way, and again no tyre tracks. Were there tyre tracks on the left hand turn? I wasn’t sure, but there is a right turn a little further on; if they have gone that way someone will be waiting at that corner. They weren’t. Time, I thought, to phone for help. Aren’t mobile phones wonderful? Of course they would be a lot more wonderful if they were answered, or even turned on. It was then that Chris Hoy turned up, puffing a little as he had got to Reunion Corner a tad late and had been trying to catch up since 9 o’clock. Lending me his hanky to wipe away a tear, he gave me a manly hug, apologised that he couldn’t stay but suggested I took the logical route, across to Black Rock. The others would no doubt be worried about me by now and would have sent out a search party.

I met what I will assume was the search party, Amanda and Jerry, at Black Rock, yet they brushed aside my thanks, suggesting that they in fact were cutting the ride short and heading back to Falmouth. The others it seemed had taken a wrong turn without my guidance and had gone on to Praze.

At least they had saved a place, at the head of the table, for me when I finally got to Miss Molly’s, and you could see the relief on their faces that I was safe.

Miss Molly’s appeared to be having a Christmas sale as my egg on toast turned out to be 3 eggs on 2 doorsteps, Ian and Simon shared the best part of a pound of sausages in their baps, and the others too were well satisfied with the size of the portions. There were even 3 teabags in the teapot I shared with Bernie, and a gallon of milk in the jug. The conversation seemed to centre around all of the wonderful Christmas presents the various wheelers had bought for their non cycling partners, but I won’t divulge details in case any are reading this.

The route back needs no explanation. Brea tunnel, Bolenowe, 4Lanes, etc. At each junction there was a general shaking of hands and Festive farewells, yet no one seemed to turn off. They were all, obviously, worried that they would get lost again and were sticking close. By 4 Lanes they were getting a little more confident as to where they were and first Chris, then Simon, departed; the others doing likewise at various points, with yet more handshaking and bon mots. So it was just Richard 2 and myself who dropped down to Reunion Corner, another OGIL ride complete, and as he bade me farewell he reminded me that the last posting time for ride reports was 5pm. I hope I make it.

Happy Christmas everyone.


The Royal Kibosh
Dec 19, 2014, 9:12 pm



As soon as I read the Chairman’s Christmas message I knew the effect it would have; a complete kibosh on the OGIL ride. So I was not too surprised on Wednesday morning when the messages started flooding in. Bernie was either painting the house or drawing the turkeys; Fred was away, again; Richard 2 was “playing indoors”; Chris was “still too windy”; No go from Trevarno Dave and even Simon was “ I think I will give it a miss”. Kath had been all fired up earlier in the week, ready for what was to be the hottest day of the week, but there were no other OGIL at Union corner, and no other OGIL at Halvasso turn. Billy No Mates rides again. Mind you, it was windy and after being blown across the road a few times I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and turned right at Longdowns, heading back toward home. To keep off the main road it was to be down into Mabe, right and via the church, and back through Treverva. Mr Garmin, said nothing.


Chairman’s 2014 Message
Dec 16, 2014, 12:42 am


This year has been a watershed for our club. The club is in a way coming of age. From an awkward teenager of some 15 years or so we are blossoming into a real cycling club. By that I don’t mean a racing club. I mean a club that really does cater for cyclists of all abilities and does its best to welcome newcomers and old stagers alike.

There’s a lot happening these days. Apart from the Sunday rides the OGIL rides are developing into a good group on Wednesdays, the Pathfinder rides have been re-established with a lot of enthusiasm and large turnouts, and there have been audacious rides in ultra long distance audax events and sportive rides across the country. 2015 may see the first FWs riding the classic audax event Paris-Brest-Paris. More and more members are doing the miles. The 10 o’clockers are setting off half an hour earlier and getting more miles in, discovering those far-off destinations that only the 9 o’clockers once talked of. For several years tours to foreign parts have been organised with great success, as have trips to the velodrome in Wales. The expertise for organising is developing as a wider pool of keen helpers gains experience.

Off the bike the club has elected its first committee to run affairs as the number of responsibilities increases. We continue to raise money for local charities. We are becoming involved in local road safety issues. We don’t feel ready to accept that a problem like “Suicide Alley” cannot be solved just because Cornwall Council’s coffers are virtually empty. The club website continues to draw comments of appreciation from non-members and members alike. We are on Facebook. Will we be tweeting next?

Some people might say our club has a relatively high average age. But as the burden on the NHS increases and we are encouraged more and more to keep ourselves fit, clubs like ours may find themselves growing to answer this need. What better reason to join the Falmouth Wheelers!

Happy Christmas to you and all your families, and ‘bonne route’ in 2015!


Christmas Party
Dec 13, 2014, 5:43 pm

Don't forget to bring your wrapped Raffle prizes, profits from the Raffle will go to Cornwall Air Ambulance.

KK is running a Christmas Jumper competition, prizes for best Man and Woman.

Remember your plate of food, if in doubt contact Caroline.

Wheelers Annual Buffet Dance
Dec 12, 2014, 2:57 pm

Saturday 7th February 2015

7.00pm till late

Dancing to Boom

Membley Hall Hotel

Tickets £20 Now available from Caroline

How many bones in a swan’s neck?
Dec 11, 2014, 11:39 am

I have been asked, which do I find least reliable, Mr Garmin or Mystic Meg. Well, Mystic Meg said that it would be sunny this morning with a chance of a shower sometime between 12 and 1pm. It was spitting with rain when I left the house to meet up with Richard(2) and Ian at Union Corner. Phil3 was waiting on his own near Halvasso turn, as Fred and Bernie had gone camping and Admiral was in a huff because of it. Chris had already sent a text to say that he was too wet and windy to be out. A quick text to Trevano Dave  to say “Helston Boating lake” and we should have been on our way but without Fred to manage us the choice of route was still being debated when our Chairman arrived with a copy of Shane’s Book of Muddy Lanes tucked inside his vest. Job Done. So it was Gweek, Trelowarren Estate, across to Cury and back to Helston, much like a Poldhu ride without the Poldhu bit.

The Helston lake café was fairly busy and Dave was already ensconced outside enjoying the weak sun reflected off the tranquil waters. A flurry of our feathered friends welcomed us, which I rewarded with a bag of duck food. Hence the opening question, which by now you will have had time to consider, or Google, which was exactly what I did. The answer may surprise you; 24 or more. How the conversation moved from this fact to the use of Viagra and similar drugs, I do not know, but it did.

The rain threatened to reappear just as we were about to leave so it was inside for more tea and coffee.

When we did eventually depart it was to take the usual route through the town, “muddy lanes”, living very much up to their name, Jim’s hidden lanes and Wendron Cricket Club, at which point Dave turned for home. Simon said goodbye at Jim’s house and Ian at Crane garage, leaving Richard, Phil and myself to sample Halvasso once more. Although the rain had got a little heavier it had been a pretty good morning. Mr Garmin said we had done 37 miles. He also said that he wants to come spinning with me next week; I think he has been talking to the heart rate monitor. I told him that its not really his thing but he can be very insistent. Maybe I will take him, and put him on the bar, at the Stannary. Dean

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