Falmouth Wheelers
Thursday December 14 2017 
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 Welcome to Falmouth Wheelers



Buy that man a Razor 


Christmas with the Wheelers

Christmas Party and Awards Evening

7.30 for 8.00pm 14th Dec at Woodlane
Bring a plate of food and your wrapped Raffle prize.

Boxing day Leisurely ride to Boslowick Inn 26th Dec
Start 10.00 Falmouth Business park

Angarrack Lights ride from Hayle 27th Dec
Meet at the bridge by Philps Pasty shop at 6.00pm

Mousehole Lights ride from Goldsithney 29th Dec
Meet at the Crown Inn at 6.00pm

New event;  Party Evening at Tremayne hall Mylor 2nd Feb

Bring a plate of food and your own drinks, Summer Wine will provide the music

All we ask is £5 a head which will go to a charity chosen by the band.

There will be a 10 o'clock ride from 10th Dec to the end of February. 


Chairman’s 2017 Message

This is my last message as Chairman of the Wheelers. Whoopee! I hear you say.  We won’t have to sit and listen like good children while he drones on and stops us getting another pint. 

On Thursday we have the annual Christmas Party and we celebrate Wheelers’ achievements. We applaud the efforts people have made, and enjoy some of the more amusing incidents of the year. So I hope that as many as possible will be able to attend and enjoy the evening.

The last four years have seen the club make great progress.  Individual Wheelers have contributed in both large and small ways to this.  I am confident the club will continue to make progress.  It will do so if we continue to make those contributions. 

So what’s your target for 2018?  Remember how you felt when you conquered your lastchallenge which at first had seemed well outside your comfort zone? Time to expand that comfort zone once more and plan another, bigger ride!

Happy Christmas and happy New Year to you and yours!


It’s been a good four years. The Wheelers have come a long way.  






Latest News

Singing in the rain
Dec 13, 2017, 5:16 pm

It’s a BOGOF edition today, since that new website editor forgot to upload last weeks report.

With both Fred and Simon missing last week we were a little short on decision-making skills. Mullion was quickly suggested and just as quickly dismissed but there was a consensus for Portreath, but to revisit the Tideline café instead of our more recent regular choice, The Atlantic. Bernie, Phil1, Raymondo, Richard, Ian and myself set out from Union Corner but just Mike2 was waiting at Halvasso turn. It was a fairly uneventful ride out, or at least nothing has remained in either my or Mr Garmin’s memory, other than the route, via Tehidy. However, the Tideline was closed so it was to be back to the Atlantic, where we received the usual warm welcome and our round table waiting for us. If you are now expecting a word for word account of the scintillating conversation that always accompanies our Wednesday get-togethers, you are obviously not well acquainted with my memory. We left just as the Last of the Summer Whiners arrived, or at least Mr G, Big Bob and Red Leader; and Mr & Mrs Lance in civvies. Our route back was via the tramway and we all got home safe, and I think it was about 43 miles for me.

Today, with an unfavourable weather forecast I was the only one foolish enough to be at Union Corner, in the rain, although Phil1 caught me up after a few minutes. Mike2 was standing in the middle of the road, as usual, at Halvasso and Fred was well tucked into the gateway. Simon had sent a text to say he was running late so Fred texted back “Miss Molly’s” on his new phone and I did like wise, because Fred was using his new phone. But Simon wasn’t too late as he met up with us just before Halvasso hill. Claiming the extreme weather exemption to the 11 o’clock rule we took the direct route across to Bolenowe, by which time Simon had worked out why he was getting both wet and cold, and stopped to put on his coat, then under the railway at Brea.

The window seat awaited us and with gloves draped near and on the wood burner we were soon ready to order. Apart from the proximity to the wood burner the other advantage of the window seat was that we could see that it had now stopped raining and was almost sunny. It was a two coffee stop with much reminiscing about rides long gone and some to come, with a touch of Trump thrown in. It started raining again as we left but at least the saddles were dry. Again we chose the direct way back, along the cycle track to St Eunny and up to Piece, and even had a touch of tailwind along the way. Simon turned of Penhalvean and we escorted Fred back to the other place before heading back to Falmouth. They say you never regret going, but I came close. 32 miles for me. Dean

Ed's Mulled Wine mini report from Liz
Dec 3, 2017, 7:43 pm

There were 72 entries for Ed's Mince Pie Audax today, with 62 starters (why so many no-shows? - it was a nice day) of which 21 were members of Falmouth Wheelers. It was a  good ride, not too cold, just a few patches of drizzle and even some sun. The welcome, and the wonderful spread of food over at Higher Lanner Farm, makes this event extra special. Wendy Wallis bakes all the cakes etc herself, and we wasted no time in tucking in, and were pleased to see the collecting bucket for Parkinson's was filling up....On arrival back at Carharrack, we found our Chairman, who was standing in for Ed, sadly not with us because of illness, enjoying a glass of mulled wine with Sonjia while he stamped our cards.  Another excellent Audax to end the season.   

One Wedding and a Funeral?
Nov 30, 2017, 12:09 am

Royal wedding fever even reached the OGIL this week, as although there was nothing “borrowed” there was “something new” and “something blue”; our destination, the Bluebell Nurseries. Kath had been threatening to take us there ever since she came across it, whilst off course on the last Audax. The only thing preventing her was the small fact that she couldn’t remember exactly where it was. “Near Camborne” was not good enough, even for the OGIL. However, Single Speed Ian, confessed to knowing just where it was and, displaying all the aspects of a future Chairman, offered to lead.

Bernie was at Union Corner when I arrived, along with Ian and Kath, and Phil1 nearly caught us up by the time we got to the other place. Simon, Keith, Mike2 and Paul, sporting facial hair worthy of a recently returned Robinson Crusoe, had already agreed on Miss Molly’s but with the weather report more promising than expected this was soon put aside in favour of the Bluebell Nursery; now said to be nearer Praze than Camborne. Well, if all else fails there is a café in the centre of Praze. I needed to refer to Mr Garmin for the route we took, as he chuckled away merrily with several new roads to add to his A-Z of byways, but since I got home he has stopped working. I will have to rely on my own memory, a risky business. It was all straight forward as far as Black Rock, out via Bolenowe, but then we took the rarely noted fourth way, a narrow lane that takes one down to Crowan. At several points we were almost in sight of our destination but keen not to repeat last week’s error of breaking the first rule of OGILing, by arriving before 11 o’clock, Ian took us on yet another deviation; this time out to Carnhell Green, Eventually we headed back towards the B3303, and the Bluebell Nursery and café. The nursery changed hands a couple of years ago and the café opened in January 2016, vaguely styled on an American Diner. Everyone seemed happy with the menu, the food and the prices. Everyone that is but Bernie; who wasn’t there to sample the delights. He had been with us at the junction shortly before the café. Both Phil and I left messages on his mobile but to no avail. It was to be a 2 coffee stop and 70 minutes before we were back on the road; back towards Carmenellis and around the reservoir to Carnkie. Folk drifted off as they do and the rain came in when those left reached the other place again. I reckon that it was about 38 miles for me and, of course, the rain had stopped by the time I got home. What happened to Bernie? Is it the end of the road for Mr Garmin? Has he made his final login to the Cloud? Sign in again next week to find out. Dean

Ride on time*
Nov 23, 2017, 12:53 am

Gonna get up, gonna get up”. The road to Hell, according to my mum, is paved with good intention. So although I put my alarm forward by 10 minutes, and got up, very nearly, as soon as it sounded, I still only just got to Union Corner in time for the 8.50am start. Phil1 and Single Speed Ian wanted to start the ride “on time”. There was just the two of them, no Bernie, Admiral, Kath or Mike1; was it me not posting my usual reminder on facebook or the forecast high winds and heavy rain. Fortunately the usual crowd were at the other place; Fred, Simon, Phil3, Mike2, Keith and Max (headwind), and since we had agreed the destination last week, we could be away spot on only 1 minute late. Max did his best , and was quite successful, in keeping speeds down, but we did manage to find a little shelter as we made out way out to Porkellis, Releath, Nancegolan, and Carleen, before dropping back to Sithney, but riding was lively.

The first rule of OGILing was broken, as we arrived at Auntie Gills well before 11 o’clock, and there was some concern that they were not yet open. But the “Open” sign was up and Trevor soon appeared, who, having shown us the latest renovations to the railway layout, welcomed us in.

The most difficult decision of the morning was which of the cake selection to choose, although there was no wrong answer. Conversation was muffled as we concentrated on the task before us.

The rain was forecast to be coming in before lunch and with the wind still blowing strongly, strong enough to blow Mike2’s shower cap off, there was no inclination to do anything other than head straight back. Ian was generally in front so I guess it was he who chose the route; towards Lowertown before turning off, up and over the railway, Trannack, Farms Common and Wendron School. Then it was Jim’s hidden lanes, the short stretch along the Helston Road, with the wind finally behind us, and down to Wendron Cricket Club, after which Simon turned off. The short drop down from Crane garage to Longdowns was “interesting”, bikes dancing across the road in a very sudden and fierce side wind. After leaving Fred at Halvasso turn, and Mike2 and Phil3 at Argal, Phil1 and myself carried on towards Union Corner. In spite of the wind we were home early, and well before the rain. Only 33 miles for me but 33 miles more than if I had listened to Mystic Meg and stayed at home.


Gill is open every Wednesday morning until Christmas so if you have a chance, do drop in. You might find that last Christmas present you were looking for amongst Trevor's selection of photo gifts.

*Black Box.

Phil me up*
Nov 17, 2017, 4:15 pm

If there is an optimum number for a successful OGIL ride then this week we were just about three quarters Phil’d. I was just in time to catch Phils1 & 2 as they set off from Union Corner and Phil3 was waiting with the others at Halvasso turn. It can’t have been the weather that put off “our girls” as, although a little chilly, it promised a bright day. We did have occasion to doubt that forecast, as we climbed up through Halvasso and noted that it was indeed black over Bill’s mother’s.

As a change from our weekly rides either West or North West, the destination was to be the Penrose Garden, a little pricier than most of the cafes we frequent but we get a warm welcome and the food is excellent. Simon nominated himself as ride leader and set off, at what was significantly more than the sedate pace one might otherwise associate with this veteran bunch. His directions took us out to Stithians and left past Burley Aquatics before re-joining our more usual route to Burncoose, Twelveheads, Chacewater and the airport. The lanes were wet and looked slippery but all went without incident.

Unusually, the café was empty when we arrived. Previously there have been other patrons and at least one couple huddled together on the corner seating, on an assignation from County Hall, someone suggested.

Our host was quite happy to put the menu to one side and accommodate our individual peccadillos. Toast and marmalade seemed popular, though Mike2 ordered the full breakfast. But his eyes are much larger than his stomach and he redistributed many the items from his plate, mostly, I seem remember, to Phil3’s. It, probably, also led to Mike being the first for declaring it to be a “2 coffee” stop. 1 hour 15 minutes later, we were finally on the move again, along the delightful narrow lanes that bring you out at the less delightful Threemilestone park and ride. After Tomperrow and the climb up to the Carnon Downs road, we went straight across and down to Twelveheads again. Mr Garmin was happy. Simon asked just how Mr Garmin responded to a new road. He chuckles; don’t all Garmin do this? At Twelveheads we retraced our route out as far as Cusgarne before turning off to Frogpool. Phils 1&2, and myself diverted towards Perranwell, and Hangman’s hill etc, whilst Simon led Phil3, Mike 2, Keith and Fred on to Stithians. 38 miles for me. Dean


*Steve Winwood

Not a club time trial 5th November 2017
Nov 16, 2017, 10:44 am

Due to legal issues the club’s committee were not able to sanction this years time trial but after being asked by some members if I would time them on the Zoar- Mawgan-Zoar 10 mile course purely to satisfy their own curiosity about their own fitness I suggested that I would lead a ride and run an ad hoc TT on route.

Although there was a large gathering at HQ only five members fancied joining me to ride to St Keverne via Mawnan Smith, Porth Navas, Constantine & Gweek and then directly to Zoar Garage where we found three others waiting including non club member Andy.

With Shane unable to marshal this year it was left to the eight keen contestants leaving at one minute intervals to take care of themselves at the turning point but fortunately they all returned safely.

With news of Amanda’s return this year Emma our reigning ladies champion panicked and booked a last minute trip to Malta leaving Amanda to take the crown in a personal best time for an unprecedented fifth time. In the men’s class although Robin improved his time from last year and remains the clubs champion the fastest time of the day was taken by Andy.

Following the visit to Roskillys cafe for brunch it was onto St Keverne for a twisting, climbing and apologies for a rather muddy/sh*ty route back along local lanes to Gweek where some of us stopped for refreshments.

Trevor 2



Andy Blake       



Robin Snelson



Ian Murrels



Amanda Hudson



Raymond Tucker



Simon Jones



Phil Conroy



Jim Middleditch



Приключенческие семь
Nov 3, 2017, 9:31 pm

It's not only the Wednesday 9am OGILs who have been enjoying these dry sunny days - seven of the slightly slower 9.30am group gathered at Union Corner this week; Sonjia, Sheila, Trevano Dave  - he'll always be that, even after moving to Mawnan Smith a year ago - Don M, Mike and his brother in law Chris, and myself.  The usual discussion - where to go?  We decided on Helston Boating Lake by the 'northern route,' so we headed out via Halvasso towards Stithians, Nine Maidens Down, Black Rock, then south towards Helston with a detour past the Trevano estate, now owned by a Russian. The 'Keep Out' and 'Trespasses will be prosecuted' notices posted all along the outside wall were distinctly unfriendly, which is a shame, as when Trevano was open to the public it was a favourite Wheelers watering hole, with a good cafe in the huge old greenhouse, peacocks on the lawn, and pleasant smells coming from the soap makers in the courtyard....as sad loss. On we went, past the lane up to Dave's old home, the meeting place for several memorable November Pathfinder rides over to Perranuthroe, which were followed by a wonderful tea on our return.  Dave admitted feeling quite nostalgic!  So, a few more hills and we came out on the A394, turned left down to the Boating Lake, where the swans and ducks were fed by the kids as we sat in the sun and enjoyed what was on offer at the cafe. Then home via Porkellis and Carnkie, a very good 37 miles.                       Liz

A cunning plan
Nov 1, 2017, 9:18 pm

Phil3, yes really, it was he and not Phil1, had a cunning plan to bring the OGIL ride back to a more sensible speed. By suggesting the destination, and stating that he would lead, he could, he thought, lower the speed to something a bit more sedate. It was a good plan. Simon added his pennyworth by stopping after just a few miles, and proceeded to take his rear wheel out, have a good look at it, pump up the tyre a tiny bit more, squeeze it a few times, and put it back in again. Kath has been saying that she would like to do a course on bike maintenance but was not one of those who stopped to support/watch this episode, and so missed out on seeing an expert randonneur at work. Phil’s destination was the Krowji, at Redruth, but by a less familiar route. Halvasso was dismissed, at least for the route out, and we continued on the Constantine road, as far as Brill, before turning towards the A394, across and on to Wendron school. After a short, but unpleasant, stretch on the Helston-Redruth road it was a left to Bodilly, down to Crowlas and through to Praze. These were mostly roads we were all familiar with but in a different combination that made them appear fresh. Mr Garmin picked up a couple of new lanes but refused to acknowledge the stretch of main road after the Poldark Mine as he said he wouldn’t let me do that bit again any time soon.

From Praze it was Carnhell Green, Barripper and (main road again) Camborne. Signs to Miss Molly’s were spotted but we travelled on, through the monstrosity of a housing development behind Tesco, along the cycle track and eventually arrived at the Melting Pot café. Under new management since I last visited it has a more extensive and very reasonably priced menu. Phil was awarded just the 5 penalty points; 2 for using the main Helston to Redruth Road, and 3 for exceeding the 23 mile limit before the café stop, but he got oooddles of bonus points for recycling old lanes.

We managed to squeeze the nine of us, Kath, Ian, Keith, Mike2, Phils 1& 3, Simon and myself, around the one table. Conversation, apart from wishing Martyn a speedy recovery, was as entertaining as it was eclectic.

Retracing our steps to St Euny, we returned via Piece and 4Lanes. The usual dispersal took place leaving Kath, Phil1 and myself to return to Union Corner, where we met Mike and his brother in law out on a cosy little ride for two.

Another bonus day and 40 miles for me. Dean

It gives the Devil a bad name
Oct 30, 2017, 5:25 pm

“You are logged in to the web site for the DARTMOOR DEVIL. From here there may be no return. What awaits you is over 100Km of testing terrain, with over 2000 metres of climbing, and descents along twisty lanes, probably coated with debris from autumnal storms”. This is the greeting one gets from the Dartmoor Devil webpage; What is there not to like? Some may fill their bucket list with canoeing down the Grand Canyon; at a tenner, this seemed more up my street. The ride has been organised by one Kevin Presland for the last 25 years, this being his last. For Raymondo it was his 8th, Trevor just one behind and Phil1 a few less. This was my first, and almost definitely, my last.

A 9am start was not too unreasonable, even through we had been robbed of an hour sometime in the night (Phil1 has told me that he gained an hour. He could be right), and the steep, but short, lane out of Bovey Tracey gave a gentle introduction as to what lay in store. I lost contact with Phil when my extra front light flew off on a rutted road surface and spread components across the road and the next few k were not too challenging but my enthusiasm started to wain when I noticed a flat rear tyre. Devon farmers start hedge trimming later than their Cornish comrades. I lost 15 minutes here and having only packed 2 spares another flat would mean I might have to turn for home. A 1 in 5 was manageable but took its toll and I was relieved to reach the second control, though dismayed that this was only the quarter way mark. Having left navigation to Mr Garmin I had only given the route sheet a cursory glance, not paying too much attention to the obvious clues, “up long climb” and “up a series of hills to high moor”. At times I was going so slowly that Mr Garmin thought I had stopped, so shut down. It was quicker to walk. When on the moor the roads were more undulating and without Max (Headwind) would have been almost pleasant. Eventually the route actually turned down one of the many lanes signposted “Chagford” and I climbed the stairs to the control in the upstairs room of the Globe Inn, with only a couple of minutes to spare. Hot soup and a chat worked wonders, though the chap I was chatting to informed me that he was turning back home. Mr Garmin had downloaded the ride in 2 uneven parts, the first, 78k to Princetown, and part 2 the remaining 18k to the finish at Manaton. If I could just get to Princetown.

The approach to Princetown was heralded by first Phil, then Raymondo and Trevor freewheeling down the hill and the Foxtor Café was crowded. If they all thought they could get back in time, perhaps I could do too.

“I think there is just the one hill on the last section” said a younger guy. He obviously hadn’t paid much attention to the route sheet either. He was with two others who were having as much trouble with the hills as I was. A deviation from previous years was to miss out “Widecombe Hill” but the alternative, described as a “fabulous if rather tough minor road called Bone Hill” was still long and hard. "Faecal matter", I mutter to myself. As the distance to the finish dropped; 13miles, just about the ride back from Stithians; 5 miles, Halvasso corner to home; I finally realised that I might finish. Just half a mile and I was overtaken by the stronger of the group of three, but turning the next bend he was stretched out in the lane, yards from his bike. He had thrown up a stick, which had jammed itself between his forks; his bike stopped dead, and for a moment I thought he had too. But apart from loss of blood, skin, and lycra, he was ok and I got him back on his feet and walking, towards the finish, with 5 minutes to spare. There was a Haloween theme to the ride and he fitted in just right.

Trevor and Raymondo were at the bar, having a drink whilst waiting for me. Not wishing to delay them anymore I just had a swift half. The Kestor Inn is 4 miles outside Bovey so there is the small matter of the ride back, in the dark. Raymondo was good enough to loan me one of his front lights and after picking up my “AAA” badge, we set off. “Your coat really glows in the dark”, said Trevor, "you should include details of it in your report". Remind me to do that.


* photo is from an earlier year

More Wheelers than you shake a stick at.
Oct 28, 2017, 4:02 pm

It’s been a busy week so have only just been able to sit down and make up, put together this week’s OGIL report; so, if I miss anyone out or am short on detail, you’ll understand. Fortunately Mr Garmin was fully recharged so could remind me just where we went; The Atlantic at Portreath, and how we got there, and back, but not the names of those involved. Which is a pity, as one way or another this week could have been the biggest number of Wednesday morning Wheelers, since, well, since Mr Gunner was a lad. Notice I didn’t use the expression OGIL, Wednesday’s gathering was way beyond this simple categorisation.

Ian had brought his carer/neighbour along, Franky (apologies if spelt wrong), and, together with Amanda, he brought the average age down well below the OGIL qualification mark, and increased the average speed well above it. Simon, Keith, Phil3 and Mike2 joined us at Halvasso Parkway and a suggestion of Portreath was duly considered and accepted. As a slight deviation to the route out, via Bolenowe and Troon, we missed out the outskirts of Camborne, and took in Kehelland before Coombe and the now regular trip along the North Coast. It was a bit muddy in places but Mr Garmin was pleased to add a new road to his list.

Cosily seated around the same table as our last visit, but ensuring that we did not touch hips, we ordered and partook of our well-deserved refreshments. We were surprised when Sonjia and her cohorts arrived; five of them that included Jane and Dom M, but learnt that Amanda, who had turned back early had met up with them on the way out. But we were more than surprised when the third band of Wheelers descended on the café. Big Bob, on two wheels, and Mr Gunner, were both non battery assisted and were being looked after by Barbara and Mr & Mrs Red Leader. Trevor did say I might end up with a broken nose if I included him in the report but for some reason out of the total of 20 his name wasn’t the one I have forgotten.

It was a longer than usual stop but Simon realised he was supposed to be elsewhere and rushed off. He had been entertaining a couple of us with tales of his Court experiences so it was surprising that, after recounting the story of the murderer who was caught because he later stole a sandwich, he rushed off with out paying for his full English. Visiting times will be posted when known.

The ride back was without incident, other than the number of traffic lights encountered through Redruth, and we eventually turned off and went our separate ways; just Mike and myself returning to Falmouth. Weather-wise a bonus day and 43 and a bit too fast
miles for me. Dean

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We're a local group of cyclists of all ages and cycling abilities who enjoy meeting up to ride for fitness, pleasure and socialising.
We ride all year round and organise rides around Falmouth, throughout Cornwall, the UK and abroad. We strongly encourage beginners and will always have a ride to accommodate them and those who might not be able to go too far because of health reasons. Competent children are welcome accompanied by an adult and all riding is on road (apart from Tuesday night off-road rides). We welcome new members and hangers on, so if you would like to ride with us, think you can handle having the micky being taken and can buy the odd round, come and join us. After riding out 3 times with us you will be asked to join up.
Please email:
or refer to the 'FAQ's' page for further details.
 I wish I had said that...
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is the bicycle puncture repair kit." - Billy Connolly
 I wish I had said that Pt.2
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me. ------ Comedian Emo Philips
If you thought whizzing down Budock Water Hill was
exciting take a look at these London bike messengers
 I wish I had said that Pt.3
It never gets easier, you just go faster. -Greg Lemond
 I wish I had said that Pt. 4
"Whoever invented the bicycle deserves the thanks of humanity" - Lord Beresford

If you want to beg, borrow or steal any articles or our pictures (as if) we will take it as a compliment. No, really, we will.

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